Becoming Her: A Journey to This Moment - Pageant Edition

It’s pageant week and I’m not sure I have the words to describe the emotions sitting just below the surface right now, but I’m going to try.

This journey has been beautiful. And brutal. And sacred. And stretching. And it has changed me.

When I first met the women I now call my sash sisters, I was still trying to find my footing. I walked into pageant season hopeful but guarded. I was unsure if I belonged and unsure if I was too late to dream this big. I look back now and barely recognize the woman I was then. Not because she wasn’t strong, but because she hadn’t yet allowed herself to be seen. To rise. To take up space in joy, not just in survival.

Every step since then, every rehearsal, every late-night prep session, every reel I second-guessed before posting, every speech I rewrote, every costume adjustment, every moment I juggled this dream alongside real life—has grown me in ways I didn’t expect. There’s something incredibly humbling about chasing a dream in the middle of raising a family, working full time, and still healing in places no one can see.

It’s taken grit. Grace. And an unreasonable amount of belief.

The truth is, I’m still holding heartbreak and gratitude in the same hand. My parents won’t be there to see me walk that stage. That hurts. I won’t pretend it doesn’t. But for the first time in years, all of my kids will be with me for Mother’s Day. That is a gift I never saw coming and it means more than I can say. To know they’ll be in the room when I take that stage? That’s everything.

And then—there’s Alex.

My husband has shown up for me in a way I didn’t know I was allowed to ask for. While finishing his degree, working both a civilian and military career, and being a father to eight, he has carried this dream with me. Quietly. Faithfully. Without needing credit or the spotlight. He has stayed up late helping me brainstorm ideas, sat through fittings, wiped away tears, and told me—on the days I doubted myself—that I was already worthy.

His kind of love is steady and unshakable. It’s in the small things: the errands he runs without being asked, the way he rearranges his life to keep mine afloat, the way he looks at me like I already won. I have never known a partnership like this. I still sometimes can’t believe it’s mine.

I’ve had to fight for this moment. Quietly. Relentlessly. And often without fanfare.

But what a thing it is, to finish something you started. To show your kids what it looks like to choose courage over comfort. To stand in your truth with nothing to prove and everything to offer.

This week isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. It’s about celebrating the woman I’ve become and honoring the ones who helped me get here. My husband. My children. My sisters. My community. And every version of myself that refused to give up.

So here we are. I don’t know how it ends—but I know what it’s taken to get here. And that makes this moment everything.

With a full heart,

Shaunie